Should you bring food to a shiva house?

You don't have to, but it helps a lot

What matters most at a shiva is the visit itself: coming, sitting with the family and listening. You can come empty-handed, and no one expects a gift.

Still, during the shiva the family stays at home, and the house is full of visitors from morning to evening. There is no time or energy to cook. So friends, neighbours, relatives and colleagues take care of the food, and it is one of the simplest ways to really help.

Customs differ from family to family and from community to community. For any question of custom or halacha, ask the family's rabbi.

What to bring

The family needs simple, filling food that can be served without any preparation. Think, too, of everyone who is in the house all day, not just the family.

• A full meal. A main course, sides and salads, enough for the family and the people with them.
• Salads and bread. They can go on the table at any time, even between visits.
• Something small for visitors. Fruit, a simple cake and drinks, for those who come to comfort the family.

Bring the food in disposable trays, so the family does not have to wash and return dishes. If you do use your own dishes, put your name on them.

Before you bring anything, find out whether anyone in the family has allergies, is vegetarian or does not eat spicy food, and what standard of kashrut the family keeps. If there is an allergy, also call us before you order and ask about each dish.

Coordinate among friends

When everyone brings food on the same day, a lot is left over, and the next day there is nothing. It helps when one person, a close friend or a relative, keeps track of who brings what and on which day. A small WhatsApp group is enough.

One more thing that is easy to forget: the shiva does not end after two days. In the first days everyone wants to help, so make sure someone brings food on the last days too.

Also ask the person coordinating what time is best for the food to arrive, and choose that time when you order.

Sending a meal to the house of mourning

You can order a meal from us for the house of mourning even if you cannot be there yourself. Choose the dishes on the site: build a shiva menu. On the order page, enter the address of the house of mourning, and the name and phone number of the person who receives the delivery.

You can send a separate order for each day of the shiva, with its own date and time, or order for the same day: the delivery arrives within 3 hours of ordering, on business days and hours. On Fridays and holiday eves the delivery arrives before Shabbat or the holiday begins, and we are closed on Shabbat and holidays. So for a Shabbat that falls during the shiva, order the food for Friday.

For more about ordering and the cities we deliver to, see the Shiva food page. And if anything is unclear, ask us by phone or on WhatsApp.